The Joy of Discoveries
by soft N' fluffy
Summary: They broke up, and more then a year later, James and Lily meet at a concert. He finds out where she lives and discovers that he is a father, and must give up his job to protect his son.
1. partial discoveries by sirius

"LILY, OH MY GOD! IS THIS HARRY! OH HE'S ADORABLE, HE LOOKS JUST LIKE JAMES! HERE, LET ME HOLD HIM!" Amanda yelled for the rest of the air port to hear. I had just come on a plane from a trip to America, and my friends were all probably waiting to meet her 4 month old baby, harry, as none of them had met.

'Oh, great to see you too, Amanda." i replied sarcastically as I handed harry over to her. "come on, lily, everyone's waiting in the car." Amanda said as she turned away.

I took in my surroundings. It was so nice to be home. I hadn't seen my friends since before harry was born, and they had said that they had something special planned so that I could get away.

Lily, who was deep in thought at the moment, didn't seem to notice the man not too far away, who had heard every word said.

'that was lily?' Sirius thought to himself. 'it's been so long.' He hadn't seen her in so long. She looked really happy, the same as always, but yet different at the same time. She looked older, pretty, no doubt, but more mature. 'not to mention exaughsted. Or maybe it was the fact that she had a baby in her arms instead of a sketchbook. WAIT A MINUTE, SIRIUS! BABY! Run, Sirius, run.'

And with that, he apparated to James' house.

"HANNAH! SCARLET! IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!" I said once we got to the parking garage. "You too lily! Oh, Harry is so cute!" Hannah squealed. "Yeah, he looks just like his daddy. Yes he does." Scarlet cooed to him.

"Well, lily, we've got a surprise for you." Amanda said, handing me 4 small slips of paper. They were tickets to a concert. "Cool, but if we're all going, then who's going to be watching Harry? And who are we going to see?" I said, flipping the tickets over to read the words "PASS TO THE AFTER PARTY". Underneath, in small print it said "to tiger, the marauders". (A/n yeah, isn't that the most original title for a band ever?)

I sighed. "Are you sure about this? What if I see James again? What'll he say? Oh, it's been forever." Scarlet nodded. " Well, we asked Mrs. Stephens, you know, Monica's mum, if she would baby sit for you, and she agreed, so, if you see jams, it won't matter because he won't find out about Harry. It'll be just like old times, back when we were in school. Please say you'll go? The tickets are non-refundable."

I thought about it for a minute. Mrs. Stephens was one of the nicest people you could ever meet, and she used to let us come over all the time when Monica was still alive, and, as long as I didn't have Harry with me, it wouldn't make a difference, right (A/n if any of you people know where I'm going with this, you'll know that the answer is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG)

"Well, it'll be fun, and I'll get to have some time with you guys without Harry, so, sure, I'll go." I told them. They all jumped for joy. "Ok, now that we've gotten past the screaming and yelling, why did they call the concert "to tiger"?" I asked. They all passed each other a look of forbidding, and I could tell what was coming next.

"Uuh, well, you know how they all used to call you tiger-lily, right?" Hannah asked. I nodded. "Well" Amanda continued. "They decided to get all of the songs together that had anything to do with you, and create a concert with the songs. It's supposed to be a big hit, and you don't even have to talk to them, we just thought it'd be fun for you to have a night to yourself where you can listen to the music and enjoy at least seeing your friends again. Please don't turn us down, some of these songs haven't been heard by anyone since we were in school. Think of all the fun you'll have and…"

"Amanda, I'm still going, even if the whole freakin' concert is about me, I still want to go out and have fun." I told them. Obviously, they had been expecting me to say that I wasn't going to go, and they were very wrong. I hadn't been to a concert since before Harry was born, before James and I broke up, before the marauders needed 12 body guards just to go out and get the _daily prophet_, before I had even graduated from Hogwarts, before I gave up my life, and it was the 7th year graduating celebration. I was going to this damn concert if it cost me my life.

"JAMES! OH JAMES" Sirius called out when he got to James' apartment. When no one answered, Sirius started to walk about the house. "Well, fine, be that way, I just thought you might like to know that lily's in town and…" but Sirius was interrupted by James, who was now out from hiding from Sirius and yelling at the top of his lungs. "WHAT? IF I FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE KIDDING, I'M GONNA KILL YOU! OH, do you think she'll see us? Do you think that she'll go to the concert?" after James said that, something inside his head clicked. "Do you think she'll come Sirius? If she does, she'll hear the music, and she'll realize how much I miss her, and how much I still love her, and maybe I'll get to see her again! Oh, wait, what if she looks different, and I don't recognize her? Then she'll think that I don't love her, and she'll leave again. Oh, that can't happen. Sirius what does she look like?" after that, James started ranting on about how exited he was and how everything had to be perfect.

'Should I tell him about the baby she had with her?' Sirius thought to himself. 'Nah, he's freaking out enough. Besides, the look on his face will be priceless.'

With that, Sirius sat down to watch James pace around the room and talk without a breath.


	2. a shock for the marauders

Hi, I was surprised by how many reviews this idea got. I was very happy to say that I didn't even get this many reviewers for 2 chapter of my other story. Anyways, here are my replies to the ppl who sent in a review in time for me to reply.

**FlameOfDesire: aww, you didn't need to say that. I'll try to update as often as I can, but the more nice reviews, the more motivation I get. IT'S REVIEWS LIKE THIS PERSON THAT MAKE ME UPDATE FASTER, PPL. **

**Jazzlyn's-mama: thanx, I'm going as fast as I can.**

**WickedWitchSistersMioneGin: know any more what? When I find out, I'll let u know.**

**WritingsOfATeenageDramaQueen: yes, it does tell a lot more information in these coming chapters. The only problem is, I can't think of a reason for James and Lily to have broken up. If you have any ideas, plz let me know. **

**CattyCat: no problem, here ya go!**

**Power-Of-The-Lightning-Bolt: Thank you so much! It sounds like a dream you had once, eh? shudder that's kinda freaky. That fic sounds good. You should write it, I bet it'll be good, since most of your fics are anyway. This chapter is dedicated to you.**

**THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO Power-OF-The-Lightning-Bolt !**

**READ HER FICS, THEY'RE AWESOME!**

"So, harry, what do you think I should wear tonight?" I asked Harry while I was getting ready to go to the concert that night. She was getting very nervous. Her ticket said that she would be in the 7th row, close enough to see, but far enough that he couldn't see her. 'But I might still see him at the after party. Oh, stop worrying lily, it'll be fine. Everything will be all right as long as he doesn't find out about Harry, right?' lily's shoulder angel was telling her. (A/n you know, the shoulder devil and angel. They have them in cartoons and stuff. They look like the person, and they each sit on one of the persons shoulders, but one is wearing a red suit w/a tail, horns, and a pitchfork, and the other one sits on the other shoulder and wears a toga type thing, and has a halo, and one of those mini-harp things, and when you get into an argument w/yourself, the angel tells you the right thing, and the devil tells you the wrong thing. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, watch the movie "the emperor's new groove". The part where that weird guy, crank, (the evil sidekick) is about to throw the emperor off the waterfall, his "shoulder conscience" gets into an argument. Then they start giving reasons as to why kronk should listen to them and not the other, but that's not the point)

'WRONG.' Lily's shoulder devil told her. 'It'll be just as bad as it was before you left. Remus will ignore you, Sirius will insult you, and James will glare like there's no tomorrow. You'll end up having a terrible time and you'll always regret it.' Her shoulder angel shook its head. 'No you won't, you'll have a great time, James won't find out about Harry (A/n NOT), you'll get to listen to music that you love, and you'll get to be with all of your friends again. Don't ruin it for yourself now, lily.' YES YOU WILL, YOU'LL BE TOTALLY MISERABLE AND EVERYONE WILL MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY.' the devil started, but then the angel interrupted 'SHE WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU JUST LOVE MAKING EVERYONE MISERABLE!' 'YEAH, WELL. AT LEAST I DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU!' YES YOU SO, WE BOTH LOOK LIKE LILY, YOU IDIOT!' 'WELL, AT LEAST I HAVE STYLE. INCASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, TOGA'S WERE WORN IN ACIENT ROME, OVER THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO…" but that was all that she got to say before lily yelled out "I DON'T CARE IF TOGA'S WERE WORN IN ACIENT ROME, ALL I CARE ABOUT IS WHAT I AM GOING TO WEAR TO THIS DAMN CONCERT, AND YOU 2 ARE **NOT HELPING**!" it was just then that she noticed that she had screamed that out loud, and now Harry, who was sitting in his high chair, started to cry.

"Oh, I wasn't yelling at you, baby. I'm just very frustrated right now." She said calmly. She sat down at the kitchen table and turned on the television, in hopes that the extra voices would calm Harry and take her mind off things. She changed to the wizarding station (A/n hey, it could happen) to see what was going on. She started to rock Harry back and forth when she realized that Harry had stopped crying and was watching the television. She looked up to see an interview with none other then (A/n ohh, ohh, is it green day?) the marauders. (A/n no, I never would have guessed) James was talking and it seemed that his voice calmed Harry.

Harry looked up at lily with a questioning look on his face. "That's daddy. We are going to see his concert tonight." Harry laid his head on lily's shoulder on lily's shoulder (A/n shoulder angel screams'AHHHH, DON'T CRUSH ME!) and muttered "daddy". Harry had only ever said words shortened, like "ma", and "sleep" when he wanted something, so lily was very surprised when his 1st word was something he had only heard once.

"Do you want to see some pictures of daddy?" she asked. "Daddy!" was the reply that she got. She stood up and took Harry to her bedroom down the hall. She went to her closet and pulled a photo album from the top shelf and sat down on the bed next to Harry.

She turned to the first page. It was near Christmas in 6th year. She, Amanda, Scarlet, Hannah, Joanna (A/n she will appear in both of my fics later on, she's another good friend of mine), Monica, James, Remus, and Sirius were taking the picture. (A/n who really cares what peter was doing then. He's probably afraid of the snow for all I care) The picture was of a snowball fight. They were all screaming and yelling. It was a boy vs. girls match (A/n ha ha, 6 girls, 3 boys). They all had smiles on their faces. Little did they know, they would have lost one of their members by that time next year (it was made a tradition to have that snowball fight every year, but the next year, Monica was hit with a ice ball in the back of the head, and was in a coma till she died). Lily sighed. Oh, how she wished she could go back to those times.

The next picture was a picture of when lily was teaching James and his friends to play instruments. Lily was standing of to the side, laughing, Sirius was sitting on the floor, holding his bass backwards, James was holding his guitar by the wrong end, acting like he was going to sneak up behind Sirius and hit him in the head, and Remus had tripped over the both of them and fallen through his drum. They were all in a pile in the ground, laughing their heads off.

The next picture was of them all at the train station at the end of the year. Sirius had his eyes crossed with his tongue sticking out, James and lily had an arm around the other, with bunny ears, Monica was jumping in front of everyone, trying to be in front, Amanda was in the back and, being the shortest, jumping up and down so that she could see, Joanna was trying to get everyone to look at her be pushing them out of the way every so often, Hannah was trying (and failing) to strike a pose like a model, and scarlet was taking the picture.

The picture opposite was a comparison of the end of last year. Everyone was towering over Amanda, who was pretending to be scared of all the tall people, Monica was poking Remus in the back of the head, then hiding behind Joanna, who standing on her toes, as she and Hannah were having a fight to see who was taller, both scarlet and lily had their faces hidden by their hair, to see who could hide better, James and Remus were playing rock; paper; scissors over something, and Sirius was standing next to Amanda (who was trying very hard to pretend to be scared of him ,as he was the tallest) and doing the Macarena. This picture made Harry laugh.

The next picture was of 7th year graduation. The only thing that was truly different in this picture was that Amanda had finally grown, and was now taller then Joanna, Hannah, and Scarlet.** (A/n Amanda, if you are reading this, I put that in to be nice, so now you owe me gum, or my shirt that is STILL at your house). **

The next couple of pictures in the book were mostly the same, only without Monica. They also, of course, of them out of school. Several were of one of them at a performance **(A/n they had performances, like at friends birthdays, or just for fun, but lily hasn't seen any of the marauders since before they were famous)**.

When lily turned to the last page, she had to fight back tears. It was of her last day with James. The picture was taken at a restaurant, the performance where a producer, the person who had given them the option of music as a career, had seen the marauders. It was making lily's heart ache to see this picture. The producer (lily had been way too stressed out to remember his name) had come over to suggest the job, and so now, they were celebrating. The group was sitting at a table, but the only part of picture that lily was looking at was the corner that she and James had been in. James had his arm around her waist, and she had her head resting on his shoulder. Lily could remember how odd she had felt around that time, and yet how she was always comforted when James was with her. That feeling didn't go away, but she never felt that feeling again, because by the end of the night, she was on Amanda's doorstep, asking if she could stay the night.

Finally, the tears that lily had fought off for the past year came. Lily would give anything to go back to that time had fix what had happened **(A/n btw, I still don't have any idea what exactly is was that had happened, so if any of you have ideas, PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME, I HAVE NO GOOD REASON FOR JAMES AND LILY TO HAVE BROKEN UP). ** Harry looked up at lily with sad eyes and said "daddy?" She looked down at him and stroked his head, "oh, Harry, I'd give anything to let you see him, but just going to see him without you makes me nervous enough."

Lily looked at the clock and realized that she only had an hour to get ready and to get Harry over to Mrs. Stephens' house before her friends came to pick her up. She rushed over to her dresser, pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She took Harry outside and into the car and rushed over to Mrs. Stephens house.

Lily jumped out of the car and rang the doorbell. A young woman with long brown hair and glasses answered the door. "Hello lily, so nice to see you again. Um, where's Harry?" Mrs. Stephens asked. Lily looked down to see that she had left Harry in his car seat. She ran out to the car to get him, came back, handed him to the woman, managed to say a quick "thank you", and rushed home. When she got home, Amanda was walking up her front steps to knock on her door.

Lily was standing in line to get her ticket checked to get into the concert. She was a few people away from having her ticket checked by a security member. "Next!" said one of the security people when lily moved up.

Lily handed him her ticket. **(A/n I know, you all think that her ticket is going to be a fake, like in most stories like this, where there's a concert that the person really wants to go to, but doesn't end up going because the ticket's not real, but it's not like that. You'll see what I mean in a minute) ** "ok, Ms. Lily Evans, your seat is that way, up the stairs and to the left." The security guard told her after checking her ticket. **(A/n see? I told you. However, what he just said is very important, so, if you can, see if you can find what's the special hint that I'm trying to give out. If none of you can find it, I'm going to be very surprised, it's pretty obvious)**.

Lily's seat was in row 7, close enough that she could see what was going on without squinting or standing on her toes, but far away enough so that no one on stage was going to see her. **(A/n that is true, but just because James can't see her doesn't mean that he doesn't know that lily's there). **

After a while, the crowd started to cheer, and lily looked up to see a group of friendly faces walk onto the stage. They all took their instruments, and James took the microphone. 'He looks just like he used to.' Lily thought to herself. His messy hair was still the same, his face was the same, even the way he wore his glasses even on special occasions was the same (he didn't like changing himself, even if it was a time when most people dressed out). 'How like him.' Lily thought again.

James cleared his throat, his eyes scanning the crowd. He smiled, even though he really didn't want to be here, but there was no other way…

"Uh, hi I'm James potter from the marauders, even though most of you already know that. This concert is called "to tiger", and it is dedicated to Lily Evans. We called her tiger lily, tiger for short, and this concert is going to be a collection of songs that are dedicated to her. Some of them were written for her, and some of them were written by her, or helped written by her. None of us have seen her since before we were famous, so, if she's here or not, listening to my little speech, I have no idea, but if you are here, lily, this is to you." James smiled again as the song started to play. "This song is called Ocean Avenue. It was written in memory of all the good times."

There's a place on Ocean Avenue,

Where I used to sit and talk with you,

We were both 16 and it felt so right,

Sleeping all day, staying up all night,

Staying up all night.

There's a place on the corner of cherry street,

We would walk on the beach in our bear feet,

We were both 18 and it felt so right,

Sleeping all day, staying up all night,

Night, yeah.

There's a piece of you that's here with me,

It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see.

When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by,

I can make believe that you're here, tonight.

That you're here tonight.

If I could find you now, things would get better.

We could leave this town and rock forever.

I know somewhere; somehow we'll be together.

Let your waves crash down on me

And take me away, yeah.

I remember the look in your eyes,

When I told you that this was good-bye.

You were begging me not tonight,

Not here, not now.

We're looking up at the same night sky.

I keep pretending the sun will not rise.

We'll be together for 1 more night,

Somewhere, somehow.

If I could find you now, things would get better,

We could leave this town and rock forever,

I know somewhere, somehow,

We'll be together.

Let your waves crash down on me

And take me away, yeah.

James, being dramatic, took a bow and stood back and was replaced by Sirius.

"Hey." Sirius started. "We haven't seen lily since, as James said, the night that our producer came to us. So, lily, you better be listening, or James is going through another grief session again, and believe me, that's not fun. He's all depressed and stuff and." James threatening to hit him over the head with his guitar interrupted Sirius and Remus threatening to throw his drum sticks. "GETTING TO THE POINT, I PROMISE! Anyway, lily, if you're not here, I'm going to hunt you down and, if I have to, DRAG you back to James, because he's just never fun anymore." At this point, James added in. " padfoot, you're so nice." Sirius turned around and said, "Well, yeah, I think we all know that. Now, before I was interrupted, I was going to say that, you may be upset with James, and James may have hurt you, but he is annoying the hell out of Remus and I, and even if you are upset, it's just no fun to hurt poor prongs for too long.

"Even though we all know that James and lily were in love at 1 point, we also know that she was very good friends with us. When we had just gotten out of Hogwarts, I had a girlfriend names Nona. Well, let me put it this way. Nona, if you can hear this, good-bye, good riddance, and I hope you burn in the pits of hell. You see, she had supposedly been really in love with me, but after a few months of dating, she decided that I just wasn't worth it, so she called me shallow and a few other names, and broke up with me, and I haven't seen her since, thank god. But the point was, that I'm not shallow, am I guys?" Sirius asked his friends. Both Remus and James replied "yes." Sirius shook his head. "Oh come on guys, you don't think that I'm shallow, do you?" he asked the audience. Almost the entire audience except the fans with signs saying, "marry me, Sirius Black" on them, replied yes. Sirius pretended to look hurt for a moment, and then said, "Yeah, well, that's not the point. I was really upset, but lily gave me the idea to write a song, and hopefully Nona would hear it. This was the outcome. It's called boulevard of broken dreams." Then, the music started.

I walk a lonely road,

The only 1 that I have ever known.

Don't know where it goes,

But it's only me and I walk alone.

I walk alone,

I walk alone.

I'm walking down the line,

That invites me somewhere in my mind.

On the border line, of the edge

And where I walk alone.

Read between the lines,

What's fucked up and everything's alright.

Check my vital signs,

And though I'm still alive,

And I walk alone.

I walk alone,

I walk alone.

I walk alone,

I walk a…

I walk alone,

I walk up…

I walk this empty street,

On the boulevard of broken dreams.

Where the city sleeps,

And I'm the only 1 and I walk alone.

My shadow's all that walks beside me.

My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating.

Sometimes I wish someone up there would find me.

Till then I walk alone.

After that, Remus stepped down and let Remus have a say. "Hi, as you all know, I'm Remus. As you also know, this concert is dedicated to an old friend of ours (more then that for James, of course)" after Remus said that, all of the jams fans started to boo, and lily just laughed. "Yeah, well, she was sworn enemies with them" he said, pointing at Sirius and James " when we were in 5th year, but that ended when we were in 7th year. I however, was a very good friend with lily long time before that, it's a long story. Anyways, in 5th year, the year lily taught me to play the drums, without breaking them, that is, I wrote a song called 'welcome to my life'. **(A/n oh yeah, if you want to know what bands wrote what songs, see the authors note at the bottom) **I had had a really tough time because of health matters, **(A/n coughcoughwerewolfcoughcough)** and this girl named Michelle only made it worse. I won't get into that story, but the point is, if you are listening, which we all hope you are, here's another song that you might recognize." After that, the first few notes of the song began to play.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of place?

Like somehow you just don't belong,

And no one understands you.

Do you ever want to run away?

Do you lock yourself in your room?

With the radio on turned up so loud,

That no one hears you screaming.

No you don't know what it's like,  
when nothing feels alright,

You don't know what it's like,

To be like me.

Do you want to be somebody else?

Are you sick of feeling so left out?

Are you desperate to find something more?

Before you're life is over.

Are you stuck inside a world you hate,  
are you sick of everyone around,

With it's big fake smiles and stupid lies,

While deep inside you're bleeding.

No you don't know what it's like,

When nothing feels all right,

You don't know what it's like to be like me.

No one ever lied straight to you're face,

And no one ever stabbed you in the back,

You might think I'm happy,

But I'm not gonna be ok.

To be hurt, to feel lost,

To be left out in the dark.

To be kicked when you're down,

To feel like you've been pushed around,

To be on the edge of breaking down,

With no one they're to save you.

No you don't know what it's like,

Welcome to my life.

To be hurt, to feel lost,

To be left out in the dark.

To be kicked, when you're down,

To feel like you've been pushed around,

To be on the edge of breaking down,

And no one's there to save you.

No you don't know what it's like,

Welcome to my life.

Remus stepped down and James took the spot light again.

"Well, one day, one of the days that had N.E.W.T. s, and, well, you can imagine how boring the time in between tests are, and, well, we were incredibly bored, as imagined, and lily was humming this tune that started to piss us all off really bad, so we turned it into a song. It's probably the stupidest song you've ever heard, but we all had a lot of fun writing it, so, if that means nothing to you, then you don't have to listen to it, just cover your ears, but it's a really cool song, and I think that at least some of you will like it. It's called "May The Horse Be With You". Here it goes. "

Born in a stable with nothing to do,

We make a game out our throwing our shoes.

Lead me to water, but not to the track.

Show me a saddle, and I'll say hey get off my back.

Drop by the phillies,

They like me, of course,

They dig my bed, yeah,

I'm a rocking horse.

You gotta take off your spurs

To ride me, you know.

If you want me to stop,

Just yell out a whoa!

All in favor,

All in favor say NIEGH!

We like the flavor,

We like the flavor of HAY!

We're gonna graze all of our days,

Till they take us away and turn us into glue.

Like Mr. Ed once said,

May the horse be with you?

May the horse be with you.

May the horse be with you,

May the horse be with you,

May the horse be with you every day.

As the concert went on, lily heard more and more songs that made her realize that she was starting to not really care if James found out about Harry, and that if he still loved her as much as he was saying he did, then he'd just have to get used to Harry as well, but then she realized that, although jams may love her, what if he wanted her back, but he didn't really love her. And if he didn't love her, then he was sure not to love Harry, wasn't he?

Lily loved James more then anything and would five almost anything just to talk to him once more, to be with him again, but Harry was not one of them. She could not give him up, she refused to give him up for adoption like she had originally planned, because she had learned that if a child is adopted and grows up that way, they also growing up thinking that their parents didn't love them. She had heard all of the sad stories from Hannah about how, when she was little, she always wanted to grow up faster, just so that she could find her real parents faster, **(A/n Hannah was adopted, and she's never actually told me this, but you can tell from the look on her face and the way she acts that it's what she's thinking), **but by the time she was older, she had decided that she no longer wanted to find her parents because she had looked up some information at the adoption center where she had come from, and her parents had been in perfect health, they hadn't been way too young, it's just that she was apparently "a mistake". **(A/n and Hannah, I know that you never really said any of this, I know that the only thing you know about your real parents is their last name, but this is Hannah in the story, not you). **

Lily could not let Harry grow up thinking that, she just couldn't do it, she loved Harry much too much. She had originally planned to adopt Harry before he was born, because she didn't think she could handle taking care of another child by herself, she thought that she couldn't handle seeing a living reminder of James without having the real thing, and she was too scared to tell James in person, and what kind of person sends a letter saying "oh, I know we broke up, but I just thought that you should know that I'm pregnant"? Not lily, not at all.

So, she had sent in the applications, she had had the parent picked out, she had even met them, and they were really nice people, and everything was ready, lily had even picked out a name so that she would be able to find him once he turned 18, all that was left was for the baby to actually come.

Lily went into the hospital on July 31st. everything was set, and lily was ready to give him up, but when she first saw him, she knew that she could never give him up. He was adorable, and by the end of the night, she knew that she was head over heels in love with the baby. Joanna McElfish was the woman that would be taking Harry, and she was a wonderful person, incredibly nice, and she was totally ready to take on the challenge of having a baby. She had long brown hair, and was about 3 years older then lily, so lily knew that she was handing her baby over to a trustworthy person, and over the 9 months of lily's pregnancy, lily and Joanna had become very close friends, and lily knew that she would probably going to get to see Harry once and a while, but by the end of the first night, lily knew that she could never let Harry go.

Lily had been so incredibly grateful when Joanna had said that she understood that lily was too in love to let go of him, and she told lily of how much she had loved her son, but he had been 2 months early, and died only 2 days old. The best part was, she and Joanna were still friends. Only a month before, Joanna had visited lily telling her that she was adopting another baby named Lucas, and that she would be going to a concert by the marauders (lily had told Joanna who her ex-boyfriend was), and had even offered to get lily tickets, but lily had been to nervous to see James again. That hadn't stopped her now, so why had she been afraid then?

Lily smiled to herself. She had promised Joanna that she would introduce her to Sirius, as she had liked his music, and had been really upset when lily turned down the tickets, because that would have been a perfect chance for an introduction, but now she would probably get to see Joanna again. **(A/n yeah, you see where I'm going with this, I hope)**

'This might not be so bad.' Lily thought to her self. 'All of my friends are here, and Harry's not, but I'll still get to see James, and Sirius, and Remus again.'

When the song that was playing previously stopped, Remus, who had been singing at the time, said "ok, now that we've sung all of our songs about lily, let's see if we can find lily in the audience and see if she'll sing for us." After that, the security guard that took lily's ticket came on stage with a clipboard and whispered something in Remus' ear. 'oh, shit, no. he saw my ticket, and it had my name on it. How could I be so stupid!' lily thought to herself as she scooted down in her seat. Amanda, who was sitting next to her, grabbed lily's arm and kept her up, so lily put a hand over her face.

When the security guard walked off to the side of the stage, Remus started talking again. "I believe I am correct in saying that Lily Evans is sitting in seat 5, row 7. Lily, if you really are here, no one's going to make you, but it'd be really nice if you could come and sing "breath" for us. I'm not going to make you, but, please, for us?" Remus asked, looking at lily from the stage, who now had the spotlight on her.

Lily looked to the floor. 'I don't have much of a choice, do I? Well, I do, but it would hurt so many people if I don't do this. Well, here it goes.' Lily thought to herself.

She walked to the front of the stage as Remus helped her onto the stage. He and the others had huge smiles on their faces, and every eye was on her.

"Hi, I'm Lily Evans. You can probably imagine how surprised I was that the marauders dedicated this concert to me, I mean, I was even surprised that they remembered me, but what you can't imagine is how nervous I am to do this. I haven't sung this song since, oh, I don't even know how long, so if I screw up, don't blame me, you can blame them because I'm only up here because they are making me." Lily said, pointing over her shoulder at the marauders. "But if you like the song, well, that's just great, just beware because I don't exactly take complements well, just as a warning. So, anyways, as Remus already said, this song is called breath. I wrote it for a friend of mine in school, she died, so she won't ever be able to hear this, no matter how loud you turn up the speakers, but the point is, this is based on a story that she came up with when she was little, and she wrote it for me, and, believe it or not, it meant so much to me that I still have it. So here it goes, breath." Lily said as the song started.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah, I LOVE CLIFF HANGERS! Ok, sorry it took so long to write this chapter, I can tell that you've been waiting for it, but my computer wasn't working well. I'm not going to be able to update this weekend, because I'm going to visit my cousin and grandma in Kentucky. Kentucky rox, and u no KFC, right? Well, that's like, the biggest underestimate of the year. At my grandpa's funeral, my grandma ordered an entire box (3 feet by 3 feet, or about there) FULL OF FRIED CHICKEN! Plus, my family thinks that I'm insane, because I'm from Virginia, not close to the chicken lovers, and I don't like chicken, no matter how you cook it, and so they all stared at me when it was time to eat.

**NOW ON TO THE STUFF THAT YOU WANT TO HEAR! THE FIRST SONG IS OCEAN AVENUE BY YELLOWCARD. THE SECOND SONG IS BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS BY GREEN DAY (THEY ARE SO TOTALLY AWESOME!). THE THIRD SONG IS WELCOME TO MY LIFE BY SIMPLE PLAN (THEY ARE JUST AS, MAYBE EVEN MORE AWESOME THEN GREEN DAY. OK, NO, THEY'RE THE SAME, BUT THEY BOTH ROCK). THE FOURTH SONG IS MAY THE HORSE BE WITH YOU BY RELIENT K. OH YEAH, THIS GOES OUT TO ALL OF YOU GREEN DAY LOVERS LIKE ME, I AM NOT AN AMERICAN IDIOT, ARE YOU?**

**Of course you're not, if you were, you wouldn't be nice enough to continue reading the authors note. If you are reading my authors note, YOU ARE SO NICE! D PLEASE REVIEW, AND YOU CAN BE THEN YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO MY CONCERT (one that doesn't exist, that is)! Hahahahahaha, ok, I'll stop now.**


	3. close to the life I lived

Hi people, sorry it took so long to update, but first I had to go to my grandparents where I had no computer access, then, when I got back, my high school basketball team started winning, so I started going to their games, and by the end of it all, I had no time to write. Anyways, a big thanks to WritingsOfATeenageDramaQueen, bikobiko, FlameOfDesire, WickedWItchSistersMioneGin, and lala for reviewing my last chapter! Last chapter: When the song stopped, Remus came up to the microphone and said "ok, now that we've sung all of our songs about Lily, let's see if she'll come up on stage and sing for us". He looked out in the audience and smiled. The security guard who took Lily's ticket cam on stage.

'oh shit, he took my ticket, and it had my name and seat on their. How could I be so stupid!' Lily thought as she scooted down in her chair so no one on stage could see her. Amanda held her up by her arm, so Lily covered her face with her hands. Thesecurity guard whispered something in Remus' ear. "I believe that I am right in saying that Lily is in seat 5, row 7. Lily, if you really don't want to do this, Sirius and I will understand, but it'll break James' heart. Come on, we're all waiting for you." Remus smiled. Lily felt the spot light come on her, but she looked at her feet. "Well,I don't have much of a choice, do I?" she mumbled. 'Oh, go up there, you know that you want to. Just because your heart is broken, doesn't mean that you have to ruin the night for everyone else.' She thought to herself. She walked up to the front of the audience where Remus helped her on to the stage. Lily could feel a blush creeping over her cheeks, as Remus spoke to the audience "well, seems that we found Lily in the audience, so all of you can stop faking now. Give it up for Lily, she'll be singing 'breath". Lily walked up to the microphone, her hair almost completely covering her face. "Hi, um, as you know, I'm Lily Evans. You can probably imagine how surprised I am that this concert was dedicated to me, I mean, I haven't seen these guys since before they became famous, and I haven't heard these songs since I was in school. I haven't sung this song in a while; I'll be surprised if I even can, so if I screw up, well, blame them for making me sing this. Anyway, I wrote this when I was in, uh, 11th grade, I guess it would be, and it was for a friend of mine. She's dead now, but when we were younger, she came up with this story that she wrote, and this song is based on that story. So, here it goes, 'breath." She said as the song started. 2 am and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake, " Come and help me unravel my latest mistake, don't love him, winter just wasn't my season." Yeah, we walked through the doors, So accusing, their eyes, Like they have any right at all to criticize, Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason. cause, you can't jump the tracks, We're like cars on a cable Life's like an hourglass, Glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, girl, So cradle your head in your hands, And breath, Just breath, Oh breath, Just breath. May he turn 21 on the base of fort bliss, Just today, he sat down to the flask in his fist, Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year. Given time you can tell he's been down for a while, But, "my god it's so beautiful", and the boy smiles, And I hold him; maybe I'll just sing about it. Cause you can't jump the track, We're like cars on a cable, Life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. And no one can find the rewind button, boys, So cradle your head in your hands, And breath, Just breath, Oh breath, Just breath. There's a light at the end of this tunnel, You shout, cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out. These mistakes you make, You'll just make them again, If you'd only try turning around. 2 a.m. and I'm still awake, Writing a song, If I get it all down on paper, It's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked In front of a crowd, Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud, And I know that you'll use them however you want to. But you can't jump the track, We're like cars on a cable. Life's like an hourglass, Glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button, now, Sing it if you understand, And breath, Just breath, Oh breath, Just breath. Oh breath, Just breath. The audience was screaming and cheering. I couldn't have been that good, I hadn't practiced or anything, but they were still cheering. Remus came up from behind be and said, "well, that was the end of the concert, I hope you liked it. Those of you with back stage passes, the after party is about to start." He told the audience. After that he came up to me and hugged me. "It's great to see you again, Lily." He told me. I was about to reply when someone tapped on my shoulder. "You come up here and say hi to Remus before me? Lily, you should be ashamed." I turned around to see Sirius, the man who does not fit his names. I smiled as he hugged me. "Hi Sirius, how are you?" I asked him, but before he could answer, I was, one again tapped on the shoulder. I turned around to see the most wonderful brown eyes that I have ever seen. "Hi Lily." Was all James managed to say before I had my arms around his neck. I know I wasn't still with him, but I could still hug him, right? Oh, heck, just for tonight, I could do anything. He squeezed me hard, but I didn't care. After not seeing him, the love of my life, for over a year, I would do anything to hold him again. "You were great." He whispered in my ear. "You were better." I told him. Unfortunately, that was all I got to say to him before some fan freaks tore him away from me again. I turned around to see Joanna McElfish looking back at me. "Lily, great to see you! You were wonderful out there, that song was beautiful." She said. I could tell that she was sucking up to me. I sighed. "Yeah, sure, Joanna, I'll introduce you to Sirius." She rolled her eyes." Yeah, I was getting to that, but, before you bring me to him, what are you doing here? What ever happened to 'oh, Joanna, I'd love to go, but I'm just too nervous about seeing James so soon. Maybe I'll go to another concert with you'?" "Yeah, well, you know, I changed my mind and…" I was going to continue, but Joanna got me to the part that she really wanted to hear. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure whatever, now, take me to Sirius." I rolled my eyes at her and led her over to Sirius, whom I had barely talked to myself. I tapped him on the shoulder. He had been talking to some fan girl that had been batting her eyes and leaning up against him while he was trying to escape her. "Hey Sirius, I want you to meet somebody." I told him. I had to drag him away from the girl he had been talking to, she must have been more like a groupie, because when I led Sirius away, she grabbed my arm, dug her nails in and immediately said "he's mine." Of course, there were police on the scene to handle crazy people like her, but as soon as she was away, Sirius told me "thank you! She was really starting to get on my nerves there. Damn fans. Anyway, you were saying." "Well, if you're feeling pissed off about fans right now, then I should probably just talk to you later…" I started, but Sirius contradicted, "oh no, go ahead." He told me. " Ok, well, I want you to meet my friend Joanna McElfish. She's really nice, and I promise that she won't be all over you, she's not like that, I hope." I said. He looked suspiciously at me, but he followed.

"Sirius, this is Joanna McElfish, Joanna, this is Sirius Black." I said, introducing them. They shook hands, and, surprisingly, Sirius started a conversation about something, I probably didn't want to know, seeing as this is Sirius that we're talking about, so I left them to look for my friends. It didn't take long. "OH MY GOD, LILY, YOU WERE FANTASTIC! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU COULD SING THAT WELL!" Amanda yelled out for the whole room to hear. "Uh, thanks." I whispered. "Have you seen the rest of our group?" Amanda and I looked around till we found Hannah and Scarlet. Once we found them, I tried to make a beeline for the punch bowl, but was stopped, ONCE AGAIN; this stuff is starting to piss me off. It was Remus. It wasn't who I thought it was, but it was better then listening to someone tell me that I sang well one more time. "Hi Remus." I said. "Hi Lily. Have you talked to James yet? He really wants to see you?" I nodded. "Yeah, but all I got to say was 'hi' before he was dragged away by another fan. I guess you guys must have a lot more fans now that you're famous." I said, starting a conversation. "Yeah, but of course, I don't mind it as much, since their mostly James and Sirius fans, so I don't get it as bad. So, Lily, how have you been?" he asked. 'Uh, I've been really depressed taking care of a baby all by myself' is what I wanted to say, but even I'm not that stupid. "I've been alright, I guess. I've been way too busy with, um, work, so I thought I wasn't going to be able to make it, but Amanda dragged me along. I'm really glad they did, though; I haven't had this much fun in what seems like forever. " I said. "Yeah, it sure does. What are you doing for a job now?" he asked me. 'Evans babysitting, what else?' I wanted to say, but instead "um, I'm working in an Auror office now." I lied. I could never work as an Auror; I didn't even go through the training. Remus smiled. "Ah, of course, we always thought you would do something like that". I don't know why, but I had the faintest idea that he was lying just then. You see, Remus was never good at lying like James and Sirius were, that's why he couldn't get away with things like this as easily. Maybe he thought that I wasn't smart enough to be an Auror, maybe he knew something that I didn't, but whatever it was, Remus was lying about it. "Well, Remus, I'm going to go find Scarlet, if you'll excuse me." As soon as Lily left, Remus went off to find Sirius. He found Sirius talking to a pretty blonde girl, surprise, surprise. Remus had to drag him away. "Did she spill?" Sirius asked when they were sure that they could not be heard. "No, she told me that she was busy working as an Auror and that she hardly had any time to herself. Padfoot, I know that you are very confident that you saw Lily, but are you positive that you saw her with a baby and that the baby was hers?" Remus asked. "For the millionth time, yes, it was her. You don't carry around a baby everywhere you go if it's not yours." "Well, how do you know that it's James' baby? I mean, Lily's hardly talked to him, and it's been an entire year since we've seen her, she could be married for all we know." Remus said. "Remus, I know that you're the smart one, but right now, you're being an idiot! Of course it's his son, it looked exactly like a mini me of James! I saw him my own eyes, I sat next to them on the freakin' plane! Besides, would Amanda scream, "oh my god, he looks just like James" at the top of her lungs for no reason? Of course not, we know her better then that." "Well, fine. So James has a son and doesn't even know it. Lily has been hiding it from him, and doesn't want any of her oldest and dearest friends to know about it. And here we are, talking about it behind her back, and we're not even bothering to tell James! Am I the only one that feels guilty here!" Remus practically yelled. Sirius sighed. "No, you're not. It's just, I tried telling him a little while before the concert, but he was so exited that she was even coming to town that he couldn't sit still. It just didn't feel right that I was telling him. It shouldn't be me." Remus shook his head. "Yes, I know, the person who should be telling him should be Lily, but, incase you didn't notice, she hasn't, and, by the looks of it, doesn't plan on doing just that any time soon. Look, Lily will probably be leaving to go back to wherever she's been for the past year soon, and we'll be leaving to finish the tour soon. James has more of a right to know about this then we do, wouldn't you rather tell him while they can still see each other? If we do it by the time it's too late, he'll be devastated! He'll never be able to find her again, and if he'd know that he has a son somewhere out there, which means that he'll be even more depressed then he has been! I know that neither of us want him to be depressed any longer."< Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, if you're so determined for James to know so soon, then why don't you go out there and scream to him that he's a bloody father! I can't do that; it's not my place! Plus, James would hate me for not telling him earlier! I can't tell him tonight because there's press swarming out there! If they got a hold of this, all means of press would go haywire! Then how do you think James will handle that? The entire wizarding world knowing about his children before he does, it's bad enough that we know before him!" Remus nodded. "I can't tell him, we made a deal. I would try to get Lily to spill, and if that didn't work, then you would tell James and we'd lock them in a room together of something. We agreed, remember?" Remus said, trying to keep his cool. "Yes, I do remember, but that was before I actually tried to tell him." Sirius sat down and put his face in his hands. "Lets think. There's got to be a better way to do this, another way to help James find out about his son without us having to tell him." Remus sat down beside his friend. "Don't you hate it when you're trying to get your friend to figure something out on their own but they're just to stupid to see it?" Sirius nodded. "James isn't stupid, he's just dumbstruck by the fact that he can see the real live Lily again. But, if he doesn't figure this out soon, our whole plan is fried and our friend will hate us." They sat in silence for a moment before Sirius yelled out "I"VE GOT IT"! So loud that it made Remus jump. "What? What have you got? Another plan?" Sirius shook his head furiously. "Yes! Well, it's not that different from our old plan, actually. All we change is instead of directly telling James, we get Lily's address from Amanda of one of them while the after party is still going on. Then, we make her pull a Cinderella and make sure that James doesn't know when she leaves. Then, he'll of course want to say a proper good-bye, but certain friends of his will have the address to her house, so that he'll not only be able to say good bye, but he'll be able to find out about their son and get back together with her! It'll work perfectly! Please can we do it? I want to see if one of my plans will work!" Remus ran it through his head several times. "You know Sirius, this might work." So, they set out to find Amanda and get Lily's address. Lily had just been talking to Scarlet, but scarlet went off to talk to someone, so Lily sat down on one of the couches and took the chance to soak in the scenery. She didn't get long, though, because after a few minutes, she noticed that James was sitting next to her. "Oh, hi!" he said when he noticed that she was looking at him. She blushed, "hi." They sat in silence for a moment before James asked, "are you having fun?" she looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm having a great time. You?" he nodded. "It'd be a lot better without all of these fans and interviewers around asking me stupid questions that everyone already knows the answer to." Lily smiled. "I guess that you get a lot less time to just be you now that you're so busy, huh?"< "You have no idea. I wake up every morning, and earl, our assistant, says 'ok, first you have an interview with so-and-so magazine from 6:00 to 8:00. Then you have to meet with this other famous person to plan that dinner that you're doing together to sponsor some stupid meaningless thing from 9:00 to 2:00. Then you have to meet with your trainer to do positively exhausting things that are totally pointless because you're not fit enough for the photo shoot that you'll be doing next week.' I swear, the guy's a total nerd, and he's practically obsessed with his boss, our manager, because he hates his job, but still does everything that he says. I don't think that I've done anything related at all with music in 6 months." "But you're perfectly fit, you have been since school. Why do they make you exercise?" he rolled his eyes. Then he said, in a mocking voice "because the cameras add 10 pounds.' I used to love this job, till we were loved by the crowd, now, this was the first time I've sung anything since that concert we did when we were 'discovered'. I'd give anything to take back that night," he said. Lily looked at the floor. "I think we all would." She whispered, but he still heard. "Oh, I mean… I didn't mean it like that." She smiled. "It's ok. I know you didn't" she looked at the floor again. "You know, I don't even remember why we broke up in the first place. Do you?" she looked up into his eyes again. "Nope. I have no idea." James laughed. "It's funny. We break up, and here, a year later, we don't even remember why." Lily shook her head. "We didn't break up, you broke up with me." "No it was not, I distinctly remember you breaking up with me." He said smiling. "Oh it was not me." She said. "Oh yes it was. " He said, tickling her. She laughed and pretended to slap his arm. "It was not." So they ended up laughing. It was true, Lily had not been this happy since she saw James last. He was still the same person. He complained about anything, but only to make it a joke. He was still the childish, immature, funny, queer person that she had fallen in love with a long time ago. They talked for hours, about everything from the way the lights in the room made shadows like the nightlight that lily had had when she was little, to the way James' nose was always stuck in the mornings from sleeping on it. After a while, lily excused herself to go to the bathroom when she noticed the time. She had promised Mrs. Stephens that she would be by to pick up Harry at 9:00, and that it was 8:15, and it took an hour and a half to get home. She ran to grab Amanda and drag her to the car. It was only by the time that she had just left the concert hall parking lot that she had realized that she had forgotten to say good-bye. Later, at home, with Harry I picked Harry up from Mrs. Stephens house, and it was 9:30. She had been forgiving, as she had not even noticed what time it was. When I had entered the house, Mrs. Stephens and Harry were in the living room, on the floor, just looking through a box of old baby toys that had been Monica's. When I got home, I was exhausted, and upset. I had talked to him for hours, I was having the time of my life, and then I go without saying good-bye. He's probably going to think that I ditched him. Left him hanging, waiting. I hated myself. I sat in the rocking chair in Harry's room with the baby in my arms. While I was tired, apparently Harry was wide-awake, and I could not sleep till he did. "I saw daddy tonight, Harry." I told him calmly. He looked up at the name Daddy. "Daddy?" he said in reply. "No, Harry, you won't get to see daddy." He gave me the puppy dog eyes that James was famous for (not literally). Harry may have my eyes, but all of his facial expressions belong to James. If only he knew… I stayed up with Harry for an hour and a half, and Harry still didn't sleep, so I took him to bed with me. "I guess you'll just have to sleep with me tonight. That ok with you?" I asked. Harry smiled a toothless smile. He loved to sleep with me. He knew already that I would never end up asleep, but that we would stay up looking at pictures of when I was little, when my parents were alive Tonight, of course, would be different. Now that I had mentioned 'daddy', tonight would be even more pictures of daddy. So, I took out my photo album. I turned to the picture of the snowball fight. Harry studied it for a moment, then pointed to Sirius and looked up at me. "That's Sirius, daddy's friend." Harry looked back at the picture and said "sususus" I smiled. "Close enough." I turned to another picture and pointed at Remus. "Remus." I said. "Wemus." He replied. He had a long way to go, but it was a start. As soon as Harry finally fell asleep, I put him back in his crib and went to sleep in the rocking chair in his room. No way was I going to sleep alone tonight. After a few sweet minutes of dozing, though, I heard the doorbell ring. Well, that's the third chapter. DO NOT WORRY PEOPLE, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE OUT BY FRIDAY, I PROMISE YOU! If not, you all have the right to flame me, but only after Friday. Well, please review! I hope you liked this chapter. Oh yeah, the next chapter will be the one you've all been waiting for! 


	4. the discovery, without the nightmare

I'm so sorry! I tried to update by Friday, I really tried! My mom dragged me away from the computer at 12 o'clock last night saying that she truly didn't care if I got flamed, but that I needed sleep. Then, on Sunday, I had church, so I couldn't finish it in the morning. It totally sucks. I will not blame any of you if you flame me!

Ok, anyways, here are the replies to my reviewers. You all are probably pretty pissed off at me for that last cliffhanger, but I have to put these in the beginning because if I don't, I forget. I've got a problem with my short-term memory, I think…

**WickedWicca: **thank you! I tried to update ASAP, but my friend dragged me away from my computer on my day off from school, and after school today, I had to do this charity thing with my youth group. It gives me almost no time to keep up my promise to you guys!

**CattyCat: **yes, I agree. I had originally written this chapter differently, but when I uploaded it, it got totally screwed and I couldn't fix it! That's the last time I upload on this computer!

**WickedWitchSistersMioneGin: **yes, I know that I told you to flame me if I didn't get this out by Friday, so shame on me. But you did get part of that wrong, I didn't forget, in fact, I had it on my mind so much that it haunted me in my sleep. Congratulations to you for paying attention to when I posted the next chapter!

**KTSweep08: **WOW, thank you! I'm very glad that you like this fic! I'm sorry you found this chapter hard to read, I did too. You see, my family has 2 computers, and when I upload on one, apparently it gets messed up. Sorry for the inconvenience!

WritingsOfATeenageDramaQueen: yeah, sorry about that. I had the POV's pointed out originally, but when I uploaded it, it got totally screwed up! I have no idea how it happened, but I do know that I'm totally pissed off because of it. I had to stay up till practically 2:00 am to fix it, AN IT STILL DIDN'T WORK! I so hate this computer!

I'm sorry that my last chapter was so freakin' confusing, when I uploaded the chapter, all of the spacing that I put in to make this chapter fool proof got replaced by some stupid abbreviations, and it confused me so much! I stayed up till, like, 2:00 trying to fix it, and it didn't work out in the end! Sorry to those of you who thought it was confusing! Anyways, to those of my reviewers who are reviewing that aren't registered, could you possibly leave your email addresses? I mean, I'm not going to make you leave it, that's WAY to stalker-ish for me, but if you can, that'd be cool, so that I can email you.

Last chapter:

Lily was sitting in the rocking chair in Harry's room, waiting for him to fall asleep. If he wouldn't, she would just have to sleep in that chair. By the time that she heard Harry sigh, meaning he was finally asleep, Lily was already dozing. She woke up around 1 o'clock. She looked around to see what had woken her up. She saw nothing, but about a minute later, she heard the doorbell ring again for the second time.

Lily got up to open the door. She realized that all she had on were her pajamas and her bathrobe, but being barely conscious, she got up to open the door anyways. 'It's probably Amanda. I must have left my purse at her house again. Crap." She thought to herself.

When Lily opened the door, she ended up looking into gorgeous brown eyes. It took her subconscious mind a minute to comprehend that these eyes belonged to James Potter.

Earlier that night, James' POV 

I had waited several minutes for Lily to come back from the bathroom. First time I checked, she had been gone 20 minutes. Good lord, does it really take a girl that long to fix her hair… or whatever? I checked again… 40 minutes…. 1 hour… an hour and a half. Eventually, I got up to find one of her friends to go into the bathroom and see if she had not flushed herself down the toilet. After about another hour of searching, I finally found Scarlet. "Scarlet," I yelled out, "can you check the restroom to see if Lily's in there?" I asked her. "She left about 2 hour ago, James." She told me. I sighed and slumped back to the couch where I had been previously. She had left me… again. Well, I may have been the dumb ass that broke up with her, but she moved away not long after that. A family crisis is what I heard. Well, now she left me again. It had seemed like she was having a pretty good time… I guess that I just can't read girls. 'Well, that won't matter' I thought to myself, ' I won't ever see another girl again for as long as I live.' Lily is the only girl that I'll ever love, but if I broke her heart so much that she won't forgive me a year later, I guess that that means that she'll never come back.

And if lily's never coming back, then I may as well give up, lay down and die right on the spot, because my life is nothing without her. I used to say that I'd give up because of what other people would say, in school. "She hates you, just give up and move on." People would tell me. They never said this to me, but I could tell that Sirius and Remus were thinking something along those lines, but, hey? I ended up dating Lily and almost asked her to marry me. I had always had some hope of her giving in, and it got me what I wanted in the end, didn't it? But no, I just had to get in that stupid fight about who took more of the covers at night, and, well, one thing led to another, and Lily was living with her grandparents by that weekend.

She's the whole reason that the only piece of advice that I've ever given that was worth anything was "don't fight with women. If it's something simple she wants, just give it to her, because you'll just end up so mad that you'll say something really stupid that you end up regretting. She'll take it to hard, and you'll end up nothing without her." Ok, so the only time I said that was to a reporter who asked me "what is one thing that you would say to your ex-girlfriend?" That really pissed me off when he said that.

Oh, and yes, you heard me right; we broke up because she was complaining about how I'm a cover hogger. She didn't mean anything by it, I think that she was just pretending to complain, so I "pretended" to complain that she stole my roast beef sandwich when I knew perfectly well that Sirius stole it. Well, I guess one thing led to another, and we really were fighting. Isn't it amazing how a huge fight can start out from something so stupid?

In the end, I wasn't thinking straight and said something along the lines of "well, maybe we shouldn't be together anymore" and totally blew it before I even knew what was really happening. That's all I remember of the fight, I can't even remember anything that she said.

I really hope that she was telling the truth when she said she couldn't remember anything from that night, because, if she does, then she'll still think I'm a jerk, no doubt.

I bet that if I had known that this was going to happen all the way back in 5th year, I would have given up anyway, because now, I'll never end up with her. At least, if I had stopped trying to get her to date me then, I wouldn't have all of the good memories to look back on. All I'd have to remember was "you're just a bullying, arrogant toe rag. Go deflate your head." But no, now I have all of the good times that she wasn't yelling at me replaying at the back of my mind, and those images will probably never stop.

'Honestly, why do I have to be such an idiot? It's my fault that we didn't date earlier in 5th year, it's my fault that she left me a year ago, and it's my fault that she left me now. I'm an idiot, all right, and I don't deserve to live'. I was thinking. The party going on around me was really starting to annoy me, so I went to go find Sirius to tell him that I was calling it a night.

**Sirius and Remus' POV's**

They set out to go find one of Lily's friends before they left. I finally found Amanda talking to a person that I didn't recognize. "Amanda, come here for a minute?" Sirius asked her. She nodded and followed him to a corner of the room where they couldn't be heard.

"Amanda, you know that we all need to get Lily and James back together, right?" she rolled her eyes. "yeah, I know that. I've only been trying to convince her all along." She said. "Yeah, sure, well, Remus and I have a plan. Here's what we do. You see them over there on the couch having a good time, right?" he asked her. "Yes, but what…" Sirius interrupted her. "Well, what we need to do is, we need to get James to know about his son. In order to…"

"Wait a second, how do you know about Harry?" Amanda asked. "Oh, I was on the air plane they were on and heard every word you were telling her about how much, uh, Harry? Yeah, how much Harry looks like James. You really want to learn to keep your voice down when you're blabbing things out that you're trying to hide. That's not the point, though. The point is that we need James to find out.

"Now, we all know how hard it is to force Lily to do something, so we can't have her finding out. What we do is, since Lily's having a great time, she won't notice the time. We'll make sure that it's really late by the time that she does notice, and that James doesn't see her leaving. You need to give me her address so that by the time he does notice Lily's left, he'll come whining back to Remus and I, but we'll have her address so that he can find her. Can you help us with this?"

"Yeah, sure. Here, I'll write it down. There's just one problem with this. Do not let anyone see this. I can't explain why it's so important, not here, but if it falls into the wrong hands, both Lily and Harry are doomed." She said, pulling a piece of paper out of her purse.

It was about midnight when James came up to Sirius saying "well, that's another time that I blew it. I'm going to bed so that I can be haunted by the ghost of Christmas past. Keep your fingers crossed that I don't die in my sleep."

"What, is she gone again?" Sirius asked, already knowing the answer. James nodded. "Well, maybe the best person in the whole wide world could solve your problems." Sirius said, a smile spreading across his face. James shook his head. "No Sirius, she already left. She can't help me now." Sirius rolled his eyes. "When are you ever going to get this straight? I am the best person in the whole wide world, and I can help you. I just so happen to have her address." James' eyes lightened up. "You do? Give it to me, I need to find her before she leaves me for good." Sirius handed the slip of paper to James and watched him pushing people out of his way to get to the door. Sirius wondered if he'd ever seen his friend run so fast.

Back to James' POV 

I had her address. I would go to her house and see her again. Only this time, I wouldn't mess up, I couldn't. She would open that door and I would kiss her and never let her go. If I messed up, that was it. I would simply throw myself off a cliff so I would not have to see those green eyes glaring at me in my head anymore. But that wouldn't happen; I was going to hold her in my arms again, no matter what.

2 hours later

Well, I hope that I'll get to hold her in my arms again, because, at the rate that I'm reaching her house at, I'll get to see her again… when I'm 55. Her house is so far away; I could probably be in Australia and not even know it. Well, ok, that's not true, but it's taking me forever to get to her house.

A half an hour later, I was in her neighborhood, but I still had to find her house. Sirius had told me that it was blue, on the right side of the street, and would have her car in the driveway. When he had told me that, I just stared at him. Of course, her favorite color was blue and, well, unless she had gotten a new car, it was pretty obvious that her car would be in the driveway.

My anticipation was building up. I was going to see Lily again. Well, ok, so I had only seen her that night, but now I was going to tell her that I still loved her, and maybe she'd say that she loves me back. Oh, if would happen, I could ask her to go out with me again. I felt my stomach squirm as I turned onto a highway that had been near the house that we used to live in together.

By the time I realized that it probably wasn't a good idea to turn onto a highway, being a celebrity and all, it was too late. I had been seen. A car full of girls in the car next to me had their faces pressed up against the window and they were screaming so loud that I could hear them over the music that was playing in the car inside. Guess who was singing the song? It was a replay of the concert that I had been in earlier that night, and every one of those girls had shirts with our faces on them.

I turned off at the nearest exit, knowing that it would only make me more lost, when they started following me! They must have come from the concert, but the scary thing was, this might have been the first time that those songs had been listened to by the public, but they already knew the words to the song. They were screaming it at me as I tried to go as fast as the car would let me, but these people, apparently, had no desire to stay under the speed limit. 'Come on, police, you're supposed to keep an eye out for these people'. I said in my mind. Right on cue, I heard sirens.

So, now groupies were stalking me, and they were being followed by police. I laughed as they got pulled over. I took the chance to look over my shoulder to yell "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, STALKERS!" at the top of my lungs, meanwhile they were screaming "BUT WE LOVE YOU, JAMES!" at me. So, in reply, I stepped on the gas and gave them the finger. Man, I love flicking off fans when they can't follow me.

It was an hour by the time I was back in her neighborhood again. I looked back at the sheet of paper. Her house number was 812. I looked at the house on my left. It was number 805. I looked on my left. 806. I cruised down the street till my car reached the curb a blue house with a red convertible in the driveway, with the number 812 painted on the mailbox. I leaped out of the car and ran up the sidewalk.

When I reached the door, words that I would say being planned in my head, I realized something. She could be asleep, and I knew perfectly well that she would hurt you if you woke her up. 'I could wait.' I thought to myself. I sat down and put my back against the door, looking at my feet.

'Wait a minute, James. You had to fight your friend to even find out where this place is, you had to get away from the security guards to get out of the concert hall, you got lost 5 times on the main highway, you almost made it here, but were stalked by teenage girls, you had to wait for the cops to catch them, you hade to get back to where you were in the first place, but then, when you finally get here, to Lily's house, the home of the person that you love, after not seeing her for an entire year, you come up to her door, and give up so that you can wait till morning? James, you are insane. Positively mental. You stand up right now, knock on that door, and snog her face off. You love her, you have not seen her in a year and a month (to be exact), and you need to ask for her forgiveness before it's too late!' He told himself. Do, he stood up and rung the doorbell. No one answered. 'Oh no, maybe she'll be mad. Maybe she doesn't want to see me. What have I done!' he asked himself.

He rang the bell one more time. 'Ok, if she doesn't answer this time, then she definitely doesn't want you around. Hopefully, she just didn't hear you, I mean, it's around one o'clock, she was probably asleep. If she doesn't answer, then you'll just have to…' but he stopped thinking when the door opened.

Lily's hair was a mess, and all she was wearing was her pajamas and bathrobe. She had sleep in her eyes and her head was leaning to one side slightly.

Change to Lily's POV 

You could say that I wasn't paying attention to anything that he was saying, and it'd probably be true. All I was doing was look up into his face, which I could hardly see because my eyes couldn't stay open and my hair was in my face. I could hear his voice, but it was distant, like I could hear his voice, I could see his lips moving, but individual words were not coming out. I shook my head to clear it and finally managed to hear "still love you, Lily. Please forgive me." He said. His eyes looked pleading. He probably wanted to come in, so I moved aside and he walked into the living room. I went in the kitchen to get him something to drink.

As I opened the refrigerator door. The light was shining in my eyes, and I felt the cool air blow against my face. I stood up and closed the door.

What was I doing? Why was I up? Wasn't I last in Harry's room trying to get him to go to sleep? I shook my head. "Ugh, I've been sleep walking again." I said as I made to go back to my room. I had had this weird dream that I had woken up to James being at the door and that I had let him in.

I had to pass the living room to get to my room. I looked inside as I passed. There was a person standing with their back to me, looking around the room. 'A thief, a murder, anything! Get something to arm yourself, Lily!' I said to my self. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a frying pan that had been hanging on the wall. I ran into my room and got my wand, since I had no idea if this person was a muggle or a wizard. I tiptoed into the living room to see if his back was still turned. It was.

I slung the pan over my shoulder as I was just about to hit the man over the head when she realized how his hair stuck out all over and how he was standing looked very familiar. I took a closer look. Did I know this person? Did I invite this person over? Was I drunk when I did this? My jaw dropped as the man was about to turn around and I ran to lean against the wall outside the living room door.

This was not just any man, this was James! I almost dropped the pan, but just managed to catch it before it went clanging to the floor. I stood up and gasped. That hadn't been a dream! He had come to my door in the middle of the night and I had let him in, offering him a drink. I ran down the hall and slammed Harry's door closed, hoping that I hadn't given him a tour of the house. I made to go back and explain things to James, but I realized that I couldn't do that without knowing what he said to me on my doorstep.

'Think, think, think, Lily! What did he say to you! For all you know, he could have asked you for a llama ride and you would have said yes! Screw sleepwalking! What did he say?' I thought to myself, pep talk style.

'WAIT A SECOND! He told me that he still loves me, and that he wants to be forgiven!' I said. I jumped. This was my chance! No more alone, I'd get back together with James and we could live together again and I wouldn't be miserable anymore! I was just about to run into the living room and jump into his arms, but as soon as I reached the door, I stopped myself.

'YOU ARE AN IDIOT, LILY EVANS! WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE DOING! ARE YOU FORGETTING ALL ABOUT HARRY? YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS EARLIER TONIGHT, IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE HARRY WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME! IF YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT THEN, THEN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN GO UP TO JAMES AND KISS HIM NOW?' I asked myself. Don't you hate it when you realize that the best thing that could possibly happen to you has happened, but then you find the loophole? I do, and, now, I always will. No matter how much my heartaches for him, I can't see him. Well, I can see him, look at him, anytime, as long as Harry isn't there, but I can't be with him, ever.

Why? Because my son is the one thing that Voldemort wants. Voldemort is the worst terrorist that the wizarding world has ever seen, and the person he has his eye on most… is Harry. Well, and another little boy whose parents I went to school with, but I've never actually met their son.

It is Voldemort's fault that I have to hide, his fault that James and I can never be together. You see, I have to live like a muggle for the rest of Voldemort's reign of terror, because, if I don't, he'll kill both Harry and I. I don't want that for James. I don't want him to have to live in fear of waking up everyday. I don't want him to have to give up his job singing. He's loved singing ever since I helped him to learn that he could sing, and he'd have to give all of that up, just so he could be afraid every day for the rest of his life.

If he just goes on singing, then maybe he'll truly forget about me, and then he won't find out if I get killed by Voldemort, and he'll be even less sad if that happens to Harry. **(A/n don't worry, people. James will find out about Harry before he dies, just so you know. He finds out, and he and lily do get back together, so please don't stop reading). **I will always be sad that I can't have James, but I'd rather be miserable and afraid by myself then happy but afraid for James.

I sighed. I'd have to lie to James and tell him that I didn't love him, and I'd have to make him leave. There's just one problem with that. Remus sucks at lying, but I'm even worse. I've heard that George Washington, the first American president, was the man who could not tell a lie. I'll believe it when I see it, because the last time I tried to lie, I was 5. My mum had asked me what had happened to the juice that she had left for Petunia to drink when she came home from day camp, because she had been thirsty. I ended up drinking the juice, and when my mum had asked if I drank the juice, well, I'm such a terrible liar, that I ended up bawling my eyes out. My mum, being the wonderful person that she was, and because I was crying over spilt juice, had laughed.

Well, that may have been when I was 5, but I'm still a horrible liar. Ok, so I don't cry over such stupid little things that can easily be replaced, but this was something very serious and I would never get this opportunity again for as long as I live. The outcome will either make me so miserable that I will always feel sad, no matter what, or so happy that there will always be a certain guilt that this isn't the right thing to do, but I'm happy anyways. 'I hope I do the right thing.' I think to my self, walking into the living room and sitting down on the couch.

He turns around and smiles at me, his brown eyes sparkling in the darkness. He sits down next to me. "Lily, will you please forgive me?" he asks, taking my hands. "I don't know what I'm forgiving you for, but alright." I tell him. "It's my fault that I was a jerk to you in school, and it was my fault that we broke up in the first place. Are you sure that you forgive me?" I smile. It wasn't his fault that we broke up, I was pregnant without knowing it, and the hormones probably just got to me. "Of course I'll forgive you." He hugs me, squeezing me hard, but I let him, just for the sake of it, even if I'm not supposed to.

"Then, will go out with me again?" I ask him. I sigh, a tear falling down from my eye. "Oh, James, I'm sorry, I can't." he lets go of me. "What? Are you seeing someone else? Or can you just not…" he started, but I interrupt him. Everyone has been interrupting what I have to say all night, and now it's my turn.

"I would never do that, James. I said that I love you, and I meant it, but I can't. I just can't," I gasp. Did I just say that I love him? No, I wasn't supposed to say that!

"If you love me, then why can't you be with me again? Are you just to afraid like you were in school, or did you just lie every time that you said that you loved me, including now?" he asked me. I looked away from him, down at my feet. "You know just as well as I can't lie to save my life. I didn't lie to you then, and I'm not lying to you now when I say I love you. But still, I can't see you again. It's not like it was before. I can't go out with you, and I can't tell you why, please, just know that I do love you." I said it before, and I said it again, I love James. I'm not supposed to, and he's not supposed to know that I still do, but I do love him, and now that I just let it slip, he knows it, but I still can't tell him. Plus, even if he was willing to go through all of that, Voldemort could get to Harry and I because publicity would get to us, and Voldemort can find us.

"Lily, why won't you tell me? Me, of all people, I would never use whatever it is against you, you know that. I know that you're not lying; I know that you love me, but can't you say why? Is it some deep dark secret that your entire family is forced to hide? Should I have known about it a long time ago?" he asks. 'Wow' I think to myself. 'He's good.'

"Because, if that's true, I'll stop here, you don't have to tell me, all I want to know is why you won't go out with me again. Please." He sounded desperate, which he probably is, but not dating because it would put both of our lives on the line is a pretty good reason not to date, if you ask me.

"Fine, James. I won't tell you why I can't date you, but I will tell you why I can't tell you that." I say, tears now escaping from my eyes, enough that he can see them. "Is it really that bad?" he asks, rapping his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "James… if you ever thought that it was bad, I'd be heartbroken. It's not exactly bad, it's just… important." I said, putting my head on his shoulder. "That makes no sense Lily." He says, smiling.

"James, I can't be with you again. If I did, it would risk both of our lives, maybe more. I don't want you to have to live like I do; everyday, being afraid." I said. "Please… tell me Lily. This makes no sense."

I can't hide it from him; he needs to know about Harry. All this time, I've kept away from him. He never had any idea, but I've got to tell him. We'll always be afraid, we'll always have to look over our shoulder, looking, but at least we'd have each other, if he knew. I can't hide from him any longer; I have to tell him, before he's gone again. I sigh.

"Are you sure that you want to know?" I ask him, knowing that the answer is obvious. He smiles his widest smile. "I'd give anything to know, Lily."

Change to James' POV 

She turns me around and leads me out of the room. When we get to a hallway, she walks me over to a closed door. She then puts one hand over my eyes and opens the door with the other.

We walk further into the room. What could this room have to do with any secret that Lily would be hiding? The room was completely silent, I couldn't hear anything. "Lily, what are we doing in here?" I ask. "Shh." Is all she whispers. "You have to whisper."

Well, this leaves me clueless. Lily is hiding something, or someone, that is sensitive to noise. A million things rush into my mind. Could this big secret of hers be dangerous? Illegal? "Lily, are you hiding something illegal?" I ask her. "Uhh, not to the cops." She whispered. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NOT TO THE COPS?" I almost yell. "I told you to whisper!" she says fiercely. "Fine. This won't hurt me, will it?" I ask. She giggles. "Not in a million years." She tells me. "Yeah, well, that's what you said about your grandmothers Doberman. I still have scars from that dog." I tell her. "Well, believe me, this can't hurt you if it wanted to. Not physically, at least."

Ok, so Lily is hiding something that just might possibly be illegal to someone that is sensitive to loud noises. It's probably very weird to hear a grown man say this, but am I the only one that's scared here? Yes? Oh, well, that's just great.

I bump into something, and I immediately put my hands on it. It's a piece of furniture. I take a step back.

"Are you sure that you want to know what this is?" Lily asks me. "It's kind of to late to ask that, isn't it?" I ask her. "No. I could just turn you around right now, and then you can leave and forget what you've heard." Lily replies. I can tell that she's nervous; her voice is shaky and her hands are trembling.

Finally, she pulls her hands off of my face. We are in a very dark room. There is a sort of a table in one corner, and a rocking chair in another. In front of me is a sort of a bed. I look back at Lily. There are tears sliding down her cheeks, and she's looking at the floor. She is also biting her nails, a habit that I guess that she still has. I grab her hand and pull her with me.

I turn around to see the bed. I slowly walk forward. I walk until I can look directly down into it. I see a sleeping figure.

Then, it hits me. I know what this is. The bed is a crib; and the sleeping figure is a baby.

**Yes, this is the end of the chapter. Wow, you people must really hate me now. First, I don't make the deadline that I set for myself, and then I leave you on one of the worst cliffhangers ever. That totally sucks for you guys. Oh well, deal with it. I'm going to see taming of the shrew, a play by Shakespeare, preformed by my friends. Now, I didn't make this deadline, but I need to set another one. I will have the next chapter out by, hmm, says Thursday. That sounds good to me. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, it's my favorite so far, but it was a little confusing. If you think so too, read the paragraph below. **

**Ok, the part that I found most confusing was the part where Lily goes "it's not illegal to the police." You see, she's really, really nervous that James is going to turn Harry down. She's also afraid that he's going to hate her for not telling him, so she sees it like it's so bad to not tell him, that it's illegal. If you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask.**

  **Love ya, Julia **


	5. the discovery, with the nightmare

**Ok, I know that that took a long time to update, but there was everything from basketball games see to visiting my grandparents. It took a long time. I'm so sorry.**

**Anyway, thanks to those who reviewed!**

**WickedwitchsisterMioneGin: **I agree, there could have been some sort of noise, but I couldn't let it come from Harry because he's supposed to be asleep till later. I would have used something like that suggestion, but that would have made it feel too rushed, and it would have totally given it away to James. I love, incase you haven't noticed, to keep people in suspense.

**WritingsOfATeenageDramaQueen: **SCREAMS-LIKE-A-HORROR-MOVIE oh no! I'm so afraid! I'll have to run away! Lol, I'm such a freak. You still haven't updated like you said you would. Shame on you! wags finger

**CattyCat: **gasp what do you mean 'you'll do something to me if I don't update soon'? Well, then again, you said that you don't even know what that something may be, so why am I asking you? Hmm, I'll have to think on that.

**KTSweep08: **oh, come now. Violence is not the answer! Wow, I sound like my mom. Eww!

Well, anyways, I know that that was a terrible cliff hanger, but I had to stop somewhere! I know, you're thinking "but you could have stopped after he found out" but that would mean less chapters, and short fics piss me off.

**FlameOfDesire: **thanks! I knew that this cliff hanger would draw attention, but I didn't think that people would be like "DUDE! That cliff hanger sucks! I hate you!" I must say, I was surprised! Oh well, at least that means that people like this fic.

**Now, on with the story! **

**

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Last chapter:**

Then, it hit me. The piece of furniture was a crib, and the sleeping figure was a baby.

**

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The joys of discoveries**

**Mistakes that make a difference**

**Still James' POV**

I stood there, my jaw open. I must have looked pretty stupid. We stood there in silence, doing absolutely nothing. After a few minutes, Lily spoke up.

"James, please say something, anything." She whispered. I looked back at her. I felt betrayed. So much for all the times she said she loved me, that she wasn't with anyone else.

Her eyes were looking at the floor, anywhere else but at me. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, but she wasn't making a sound. I looked back at the baby and said "I thought that you said that you weren't with anyone else."

"I'm not. I said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm not going out with anyone. I'd never do that." She choked. She almost sounded surprised. Whatever she had been expecting me to say was not what I had said, that I knew for sure.

"Well, even if you're not, you obviously were." I told her. I looked over my shoulder, glaring at her. She was looking at me, dumbfounded. And hurt. "No, of course not."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Then you must be some kind of prostitute!" I yelled at her. Her jaw dropped. Her eyes burning with the usual fire that only showed when someone truly hurt her. I knew that I had just made a totally wrong assumption, but I couldn't let it show. There was no other thing to say.

"Well, there I go again! Making, yet again, another mistake. How could I have been this stupid?" She said turning around, pulling me outside to the hallway, slamming the door closed behind her. Once we were outside, she turned to face me again.

"No," she said. "You know what? It's not my fault this time. I'm not the one making the mistake, you are. You are making a huge mistake! I am not going out with anyone, I have not been going out with anyone since we broke up, and I am, most certainly, **NOT **a prostitute. I thought that you would have understood, but no! You go on making stupid guesses that have never been true. You are the idiot, James Potter! You barge in here, saying 'oh, Lily, come back to me', but when I tell you that I can't possibly, that it would risk even more lives those that are already at stake, you turn around and curse me off! You can't even put two and two together! He's your son, James, but you just can't even realize that! If you ever think that I would go out with someone else, after all the times I've said that I love you, then maybe you're just too stupid to even know what I'm trying to tell you…" the rest she said, I never knew.

This news hit me like a block of ice hits you in the back of the head in the winter, when you are already in pain from being so cold that the ice makes you want to faint. Yes, that's how I feel right now. I want to faint, but I can't. I have to tell Lily that I love her, that I'm sorry for being so stupid. I have to hold her again.

"You… you had a baby?" I asked. She took her hand, and slapped herself with it. She took a deep breath before saying "yes, James. I thought that we got past that part."

"Yes, but, I mean, it's…it's..." Lily sighed. "Yes, James. He's your son, too." I hugged her, squeezing her so hard that her feet weren't touching the floor. Lily pats my back.

**

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Change to Lily's POV**

* * *

We stood there before anything was said. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asked. "Well, I haven't seen you since we broke up, and I think it'd be kind of weird to get a letter saying 'Dear James, I know that we broke up, and everything. I just wrote to tell you, I had a baby.' I know that I should have told you earlier, but I was afraid. It would have been to dangerous." I told him. He pulled away from me. He looked confused look on his face. "What do you mean, dangerous?" 

"Do you know what 'The Order of the Phoenix' is?" I asked him. He nodded. "I'm only an active member." I smiled. Then he would recognize Harry as one of Voldemorts' most wanted people. Pictures of him had been passed around at order meetings for months now, and, hopefully, James had been to at least to one of those meetings.

"When was the last time that you went to a meeting, in personal, I mean?" I asked. He thought for a minute. "I'm not sure. I wasn't allowed to go for a long time, my boss said 'you've got better things to do then sit around and talk about something that doesn't exist'. He was a muggle, you see. No matter how many times we'd tell him, he's almost as worse as your sister."

I laughed at that last remark. My sister, Petunia, was probably the most stubborn muggle that you'd ever have the misfortune to meet, if you ever did. That, alone, was very unlikely, though, because she tended to keep away from anything that had to do with the wizarding world.

If he had never been to a meeting, however, this might be more difficult then I thought. "What did you hear at the last meeting?" James thought for a minute. "I think I remember something about Voldemort moving in on another person. I don't remember what the name was, though. Why?" I took James' hand and led him into the room next to Harry's crib.

"Do you remember what the person looked like?" James nodded. "It was a child. I couldn't describe it to you, though; I wasn't paying as close attention as I should have." I shook my head. Leave it to James to miss out on what could be the most important part.

I walked up to the crib where Harry was sleeping like, what else, a baby. He looked so peaceful. I turned back to James. "Was his name, by any chance, Harry?" he smiled. "Oh, yeah, that was it. You don't know him, do you?" I nodded. "I know him better then anyone else." I turned back to Harry. I reached my hand in and pushed back the hair covering Harry's face to let James see. His jaw dropped so low I would've guessed it had broke.

"But…you mean…he's after…he's going to…but…how can that happen?" James stuttered. "He's one of the only people that fit the description of the prophecy. You do know what that is, right?" I asked him. I looked at his face. All the happiness that had lit up his face only a minute was draining out.

He nodded. "The only other people that fit are the Longbottoms' son. I can't remember his name either." He thought for another minute. "What does that have to do with us?" he asked. I wrapped my arms around knowing that it would break his heart as much as it was breaking mine to have to say this to him.

"Don't you get it, James? Voldemort is after him, and that means that it's risking my life as well. I could just give him up, but I'm not. For all I know, he might attack and I could be dead by tomorrow (A/n which won't happen that soon. James has got to know Harry better before that happens)! I have to wake up every day worrying about how the day turns out. I don't want that to have to happen to the both of us." I said, resting my head on James' shoulder. "Besides, you'd have to give up your job to live with us; we can't afford to be seen like that, the publicity would help him find us."

James sighed. "Lily, so you really think that I wouldn't give up my job for you and the baby. I love you more then anything, and I hate my job! I'd give it up for anything, especially you."

"I don't want to risk any more then we already are, though, James. I don't want you to have to be as afraid as I have to be. I can't do anything that includes publicity, or else he'll find me, follow me home, and kill Harry, for all I know! Please, don't do this to yourself!" I pleaded. Of course, he disagreed. "Lily, I don't care! I've been perfectly miserable without you, and even if it means that I have to shut myself up forever, I'll do it for you and Harry. You mean the world to me, I can't leave you." He whispered.

I look up at him. He's still looking at Harry, sleeping soundly, clueless that James is about to give up everything just to help us.

He looks back at me and says "please, let me stay?" I smile and put my head back on his shoulder. "Even if you did come back to stay with Harry and I, how do you know the press won't follow you? And how do you think Sirius and Remus will take this?" I asked him. "Oh yeah. How am I going to tell them any of this? I think that they'll understand… it'll be hard, I guess."

I looked back up at James. "Sirius already knows. Or, at least, he should, we sat next to each other on a, say, 7 hour flight. (A/n I have no idea how long that would take, I'm just exaggerating.) My guess is that he told Remus, but, then again, Sirius can be a bit slower then I expect sometimes." James chuckled. "You've got a point there. I'd be surprised if he did know, I mean, he didn't even mention anything." I nodded.

We stood in silence for about an hour till I realized that I was falling asleep in James' arms. The next time I woke up, I was back in my room, listening to James' deep breathing and Harry's whining.


	6. Unexpected surprises, on his part

**Well, here you go! The next chapter of "the joys of discoveries"! I know I've been doing a really bad job of keeping up with my chapters, but I'm really trying to work on it! Anyways, to make it go by a bit easier, I'm going to put the review responses at the bottom, if I do them at all, because I might not need to. I'll just put the important ones, but that doesn't mean that I don't like reviews!**

**Power-of-the lightning-bolt: **that'd be great! I've been wanting a beta for a long time, but my friend (who is an expert at setting up those types of things) never has time to help me set one up. It might be a bit of a problem since I noticed that you didn't put your email on your profile page, but I guess we can work it out somehow.

Also, your not abandoning your story "Broken man", are you? I really hope not, because I love the plot, and I want to see where you're going to go with it, but if you're just stuck… I've got a few ideas' that could work, I think, but, it's your story, I just hope that you're not going to give it up!

**WritingsOfATeenageDramaQueen: **you updated? Hehehe, I knew that coughcough

**Okay, like I said before, I love reviews, but you people are already pissed off at me as it is because I take too long, so this might make it a little easier. **

**The joys of discoveries**

**Discovering his son**

Lily's POV

I stood up to get Harry from the other room. I looked at the watch that hung on the wall in his room. It was 5:30 in the morning. I sighed and went to pick up Harry.

He reached his arms out so that I could pick him up, but he was still crying softly.

I stood there rocking him back and forth for a minute, humming to him softly, before he finally settled down, resting his head on my shoulder. In the other room, I heard James stirring.

"Harry, you want to go meet someone?" I whispered in his ear. He looked up at me and smiled.

When I carried him back to the room, James was sitting up in bed, smiling at me. "Who do we have here?" he said, looking at Harry.

"DADDY!" Harry yelled, squirming to get out of my grip so James could hold him.

James laughed, and, looking down at Harry, said "Have we met?" Harry said nothing, but nestled head against James's chest and closed his eyes, his little arms holding on to James as though for dear life.

I smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. '_How could I have been so stupid?' _I asked myself. _Of course James would love Harry, how could he not?' _I pushed that thought out of my head. All that mattered is that James was doing just fine with Harry.

It wasn't until now that I realized just how much Harry looked like James. I mean, sure, I'd heard it before, and I'd compared them with pictures, but nothing beats the real thing.

Walking around to my side of the bed, I climbed in and pulled the covers up to my nose. After a few moments, I felt something rubbing the back of my head. I turned over to see James's hand on my cheek. "I love you, Lily," he whispered.

I smiled up at him. "I Love you, too, James." I whispered. He pulled me in for a kiss.

After a few seconds, we heard a giggle. We looked at Harry, and there he was, pretending not to look at us. James put his hand over Harry's eyes and kissed me again.

I fell asleep with James's arm around my shoulders.

The final time I woke up, the clock on my bedside table read 8:47. I turned over. James, who was already dressed, had his head in his hands and leaning on his elbows. "What are you doing?" I asked him, my voice groggy from sleep. He smiled.

"Just watching you sleep." He spoke softly.

"Oh, that must have been interesting," I said, mockingly.

"Yes, it was; nothing sarcastic about it." He replied.

I looked around me. The sun was pouring in from the windows. My eyes scanned the room, but Harry was no where in it. "Where's Harry?" I asked quickly.

"He's visiting Sirius. I figured he needed a break from all these music business crap just as much as I do, so I let him have a bit of fun, too." He said, stroking my hair.

"Did they get along?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He nodded.

He nodded. "I got you something." He said.

I groaned. "James, don't…" I started to say, but he put a hand over my mouth.

"I know, I know, but this is important." He said. He pulled something out of his pocket and put it in my hand.

I looked at the small box that he had put in my hand. I looked up at him questionably. "Open it." He said.

I opened the box slowly. Inside, there was a small diamond ring.

I looked up at him, I could feel my jaw drop. "Will you marry me, Lily?"

**HAHAHAHAHAHAH, I'm so evil! Cliff hangers rule! Well, they rule for me, but I'm sure that you probably hate me right now, but that's your problem, not mine! **

**That's probably the shortest thing that I've ever written on for this website, but I guess that you'll just have to live with it. Oh, yeah, if any of you have any ideas, please give them to me. Okay, and, if possible, say more than 'have lily say yes', because I am in control of her answer, but otherwise, I'm having really bad writers' block, so help would be (obviously) helpful. **


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